Can I really forget?

They say time heals, time is enough, there's nothing else you need, nothing you can do to forget someone. Even though i wish that wasn't true, i have to agree. I wish there was something I could do, something that would just, help me forget. Like a sleeping animal that constantly wakes up every time there's a connection. 

Sometimes i wish life wasn't so connected. Like there were hooks you could unhook and ports you could sail away from forever. Why can't we be more like computers where you have a trash can for all things you don't need. Sometimes the biggest decision you have to take is whether to just delete or to shift+delete. sometimes you are better off without the restore option, however badly you might think you need it.

Why is it that even though you don't want to be reminded of someone, they manage to creep into your mind regardless. Why is it when you're just happy or you think you are, not saying you may not be, does there have to be this moment where you experience flashbacks. You can't stop them from coming, you can't do anything about them, they just arrive, without any invitation. That trail of thought where for a second you're thinking about where to eat with your boyfriend and the next thing you can't help but remember are the shitty cheap ass dates you went to with your ex in college. 

I'm not here to bitch or bash, i just want to know one thing, when will we truly forget? Or is the question that i should be asking myself, why do i still remember. It's not cause you still love him, could it simply be because you've known him for far too long? Will i ever find the answer? Even if i don't, would you believe me if i say to you, i don't need the answer, i just need to forget?

People say you need to forget, you just don't have to think, sounds pretty easy when they do but impractical for an over-thinker like me. Oh what i'd give to forget, to forget it all, even the good. I know it sounds harsh, but sometimes life has already taught you what you need to learn out of that lesson. Sometimes it's the same lesson over and over again until you've all but by hearted it.

So what do we do? I wish i'd know. If you know a way, if you can show me the light, please do. I'm terrified of remembering, terrified of the past, terrified of not being able to forget it, terrified i may be living in my past. I need to move on, i need to forget but the question is, can I?

Don't Be Sad...

I say too much, most of which I don't mean,

Too much of it when I'm angry, even more by being mean,

All the horrible rings and the horrible words just make you feel bad,

And what does all this lead to?

It leads to you being sad

Don't be sad my love, 

don't you blame yourself,

The problem isn't you, for we both know, it isn't new,

You know deep down, it's really all my fault,

all the things done just because i'm mad,

the things i say, your heart i break,

in the end, it's you who is sad

Don't be sad baby

I'm sorry for doing this, even after all the promises I made, 

promises to change, promises to not cause you any pain,

In the end it's me who has to make things right, or i'll lose my reason to smile,

I don't know what more to say or how to make everything fine,

how to change overnight, how to make you forever mine,

Don't be sad my boo boo,

it's all I'm capable of making you feel these days, I know it won't help but this much i'll say,

we will be happy, we will be fine,

our future's bright, filled with positive lights,

you have me and I have you,

together we will, be more than fine…

Don't be sad cutie pie, I love you.

- M

The Sweetest Pain

This love is nothing,
if not a means for our survival.
Even though many fail as they face refusals...
What are we if not dreamers of a life,
A life where there's happiness and butterflies..
Where the days are known, to shine bright,
Where there isn't such a thing as night.
Where lovers feel the true meaning of passion,
After all love isn't about possession.
If only I could take you to a place like this..
Where I could shower you with my sweet kisses..
What I would do, to take you there,
to show you how much I love you, how much I care//
Our love is passion, it is the sweetest pain,
Let me hold you forever,
for your touch's what keeps me sane...

- M

Don't Go Away..

That first twinge of worry,
that first time of a missed heartbeat..
That first time when you feel the fear,
the first time you feel something dark's near..
The first time when you doubt everything you are,
the first time he seems so far..
With every step closer,
he slips further away..
How do you reach him,
how'd you find a way?
Can he hear what you have to say?
Could he tell you're sad today?
You feel you're  a tangled mess,
you lie on the bed with a heavy chest..
You just want him to see,
to see how much you love him..
You want it to go back to how it was,
you want him to just be..
Be who he always is, your lover, your soulmate..
Sometimes you wish to go back to your first date..
You want hum to make it better before it's too late...

- M

The First

what do you mean to me?
If I was ever asked this question, my answer would to you would be,
I won't say you're my star or my moon cause in this universe, they aren't few...
Are you then my sun? As there is after all, just one...
I won't agree as you would be shared, and that to me isn't fair.
You are the brightest light in my life,
To shine even in the darkest of nights..
You hold me tight when I'm about to fall,
In despair and sadness, you are who I call.
You are more precious than the most valuable metal,
You are my dear the tea pot to my kettle..
I don't know what the future holds for us,
Promise me you won't let me go even if I must.
You say I haven't answered your question,
What are you, the thing that is only ever one?
You are my love an angel, a wonderful soul sent just for me.
For I have now found you and you're the one who it will forever be..

- M